Say What?!?

Well, it has taken a few days of "sinking in" for me to be able to post about this, but I think that I am ready... At our last Psych appointment, we talked to the Dr about Bug's most recent behaviors and issues, to include the following:
* Yelling/Screaming at his Dad & I
* Outright REFUSAL to do as we asked
* Sneakiness/Lying
* Making some really bad decisions (to include some that could have put himself and his little sister in danger)
* Making comments about feeling like he wanted to kill me and that he hated me (which is extremely unlike Bug -- he is normally very sweet and loving and saying things like "I would give my life for you Mom" - which is strange too, but this is more the norm for him)
* Behaviors such as running to his room and crying because he didn't like what we were having for dinner, standing up to physically fight his Dad because he was told that he needed to go read a book for 30 minutes, yelling "I'm Leaving" when things didn't go his way and walking out, and threatening suicide
* Bored out of his mind! He feels the need to play video games or watch TV if he can't be physically playing with one of his friends in the neighborhood. (Which leads to HUGE blow-ups and fights if his Dad or I tell him "no" to these activities.)
* Constant disappointment in life -- if things aren't ran according to his agenda/schedule or things are going his way, he gets sad, mad, or depressed over it. (Things as small as getting home later than we expected from running errands...which throws "his" schedule off for playing with friends or video games!)
* Persistent in getting what he wants, no matter the consequences or cost! If he wants to go on a BlueBerry picking walk, then he will literally BEG for it until it happens...even if it is 2 days later!! (Same thing happens with other things that he wants...buying video games or other items, playing with friends, riding his scooter, etc...) He doesn't seem to know when to quit asking, and ends up making us upset with his constant nagging. Then, of coarse, he gets into trouble or snapped at from our shot nerves...but he doesn't seem to have any care about the consequences.
*Sleeping -- or should I say the LACK of sleep -- issues. He can't sleep! He goes to bed at 8:30pm and is still up and at it when his Dad goes to bed after 11:00pm! Bug gets up and tells us that he has been awake until 2:00-4:00am on many occasions! Bug has vivid dreams about people or pets dying or other disturbing things, which keep him anxious about going to sleep, as well.
Once the appointment was coming to the end, the Dr told Randy and I what he was thinking...which simply made our jaws drop at the thought. The Dr said he thought that Bug may have Early-Onset BiPolar Disorder!
Initially, R and I were hesitant to think that our little boy had such a big psychological issue like BiPolar Disorder. We are still in a bit of shock over it. But, after a few days of our own research via the internet and the public library, we are slowly coming around to the fact that this illness fits so many of the puzzle pieces together for us!
I am currently reading "The Bipolar Child: The Definitive and Reassuring Guide to Childhood's Most Misunderstood Disorder -- Third Edition" by Demitri Md Papolos & Janice Papolos.
I have a hard time laying this book down! It describes so many things in our life right now and gives me some comfort in knowing that Randy and I aren't alone in this and that we aren't terrible parents that "made" Bug this way. (Yes, even as intelligent, logical, reasonable adults, you question your ability as a parent when something like this happens.)
As of right now, we have Bug taking Risperdal, which is an anti-psychotic medication to help with anger and aggression, but also has a "drowsiness" side effect to help with the sleep issues. He is still taking his Vyvanse for the ADHD, but is no longer taking any anti-depressants. We haven't seen any BIG changes yet, but we are confidant that if we stick it out, we will figure this out and life will get better!
Well, I better get moving...these girls are ready to start our daily routine! :)