Peek A Hoo

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Baby Blue

Now you know why she is Baby Blue!!

She's not so little anymore!!

Cricket is growing up!!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

A Father's Love

I am dedicating this post to my dear, loving husband, Randy. He is such a good Dad, and he gives no less than 100% to each of our adoring children! I can see the love that he has for them each and everyday. It shows in many ways, each dependent on the circumstances: in the sparkle of his eyes when they have done something to make him proud, his actions as he takes the time to spend some one on one time with each of them, and even by the frustration that he has with himself when he doesn't feel as though he has done as well as he had hoped or wanted to do with them.

Randy has a special bond with each of the children, but our middle baby, Cricket, is Daddy's Girl! Let me just say, I have never seen a bond like theirs!! They are "2 Peas in a Pod"...wherever Dad is, you can be sure that Cricket isn't far behind! Cricket says that Daddy is her "hero" and she misses him before he even walks out the door for work each day! These 2 can simply sit and do nothing together, but they are perfectly happy! Their connection is really amazing, in my opinion! I always thought that Cricket would be "Mommy's Girl," but no, she is far from it...and I am OK with that! I love watching Randy and her play on the Slip-N-Slide together, read books, play board games, and just "hang out" together. They even have their own "inside jokes" that the 2 of them laugh about. (Can you guess what Randy's cell phone ringtone is?? Yep, it is a series of cricket chirps!!)

Since Baby Blue was born, Randy has taken over Cricket's needs in the night...the fears and tears that require a parent's attention. He so sweet with her! He used to curl up with her at night to help her fall asleep, but he has since broken that habit and now just curls up with her in the early morning hours when Cricket wants to get up and play, but Randy can't force himself to get up yet! :) It is so cute to see them all curled up in the Twin Size bed...Randy all but falling out of the bed and Cricket talking to him while he TRIES to sleep!
Cricket benefits from this relationship, for sure!! She has him wrapped right around her tiny finger! All she has to do is look at him with those big, brown eyes and talk to him in her little, sweet voice...and he melts right into the palms of her hands! No matter what it is...riding her scooter, picking blueberries, flying a kite, swimming, swinging, or watching TV...Cricket wants to do it with her Daddy! He is her "rock" in this scary world and wants him next to her at all times!

As I said before, Randy is an amazing, amazing father! He doesn't always think that he is, but I know differently. We all feel like we aren't doing our job as a parent as well as we could be or should be from time to time. I just wanted to take some time to say that I think Randy is the best father that our kids could have and that I feel very lucky to have him as a partner in parenting!

Friday, July 18, 2008

Holy FIT!!

LOL - I have to laugh, or I just might cry!!
Yesterday was a LONG day. It wasn't too bad starting out...we had a doctor's appointment with Bug's pediatrician - wanted to keep him "on the loop" as to what was going on with the psych appointments. Thankfully, the doctors seem to agree on the pathway that we are heading down as far as diagnoses goes. (Whew, that helps put you more at ease when more than one "expert" tells you the same thing!)
We ran some errands in town and then had an appointment with Bug's psychiatrist. This is where it gets "hairy", so to speak. We started out having a chat with the doctor while Bug played on the floor with some magnets. Apparently, the Dr wanted to "push" Bug a little to see how he reacted to a little external challenging. He asked Bug to go sit in a chair and read a chapter in a book that we had with us. Bug told him that he didn't want to read the book, but the Dr persisted that he should sit in the chair and read just a bit of it. After a few dirty looks, Bug got up in the chair with the book and proceeded to find the chapter he had been asked to read. He was flipping the pages when the Dr turned to him and asked him how he was sleeping. Bug was a bit upset at the interruption and stated (not so kindly) "OK, I guess...well, not great." Then he was asked to please return to reading the book. Bug was NOT happy about this. He glared at the Dr and then started whispering under his breath to me "Mom, I don't want to read this book! I don't want to read it! I won't read it! Can I please take a break and go outside?" Meanwhile, the Dr continued his conversation with R and I regarding Bug's behavior during the last week. Bug got more and more worked up - just sitting in the one saying anything more to him about reading the book - that he ended up climbing onto the floor and hiding behind the table and chair. He wouldn't communicate with the Dr when he was asked why he was down there. (By the way, the Dr was VERY gentle and polite to Bug...not at all intimidating or rude in any way during all of this.) Well, the Dr looked at R and I and said something along the lines of how Bug had worsened in just the couple of months that he had been seeing him because Bug was able to communicate his thoughts and feelings at the start, but was unable to do so now. Anyhow, he increased the Risperdal to 1mg and sent us on our way - for another 2 weeks.
Once we got out of the office, Bug was SUPER Hyper/Silly and couldn't sit still in the car. Before we even got to our next stop, Bug was in tears because he had to wait in the car with me and the girls while Dad went into the store. (Not something that would typically cause a crying fit...) By the time we got home an hour later, we had witnessed a range of extreme emotions from Ultra-Hyper/Happy to Anger to Sadness & Depression. It was quite the car ride experience!! (Sigh)
We got home and the fits did not stop there. All evening there were meltdowns with frustration, tears, and was EXHAUSTING!! Just keeping your cool with him is extremely difficult...but watching your child go through all of just heart breaking!! R and I were at the end of our rope by the time the kids were all in bed at 8PM. We both went to bed with a lot on our minds and woke up today with high hopes that the day would not be a repeat of the day before! As of now, Bug is still in bed, getting some much needed rest...we will just wait and see what the day brings!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

My Growing Girls!!

I cannot believe how quickly the girls are growing!
Cricket is now a big 3 year old girl and Baby Blue is almost 9 months old!! Cricket has a HUGE vocabulary (as her big brother did at her age), is nearly 100% potty trained, and can do anything that she sets her mind to! She loves to play in the pool, slide down the Slip-N-Slide, swing really high, play Hide-N-Seek, color, play all kinds of sports, and do anything that her big brother can do!! LOL She loves teaching Baby Blue how to do things - even things that Mommy isn't sure she should be learning yet!! She is SUPER independent too...she has to help do everything! She wants to pour her own drinks & cereal, dress & undress herself, put her own shoes on, clean her own face & brush her own teeth...the list goes on & on!! I have a hard time with all of this independence exertion! (It is probably one of the hardest things that I have to do as a mom, so far...watching the little kids grow less & less dependent on Mom and more self sufficient!)
Baby Blue is something else now too! She is crawling on all fours like a Pro! She thinks the house is a raceway...always in a hurry to get where she is going!! Last night, she crawled right into the bathroom, where I was getting Cricket's bath ready, went straight to the bathtub & pulled herself up to a standing position to see inside the bathtub! When she saw what I was doing, she stood at the tub and squealed and laughed until I picked her up and put her in with her big sister! This is a girl who knows what she wants already!! She can walk back & forth along the couch too! I have a feeling that walking alone will come sooner than later. She has a lot of the same drive & determination that her big sister has!
I just cannot believe how big these girls are getting - and how fast! Oh, how I will miss these days!! As much as they drive me crazy during the days, I still wouldn't trade it for the world!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Say What?!?

Well, it has taken a few days of "sinking in" for me to be able to post about this, but I think that I am ready... At our last Psych appointment, we talked to the Dr about Bug's most recent behaviors and issues, to include the following:
* Yelling/Screaming at his Dad & I
* Outright REFUSAL to do as we asked
* Sneakiness/Lying
* Making some really bad decisions (to include some that could have put himself and his little sister in danger)
* Making comments about feeling like he wanted to kill me and that he hated me (which is extremely unlike Bug -- he is normally very sweet and loving and saying things like "I would give my life for you Mom" - which is strange too, but this is more the norm for him)
* Behaviors such as running to his room and crying because he didn't like what we were having for dinner, standing up to physically fight his Dad because he was told that he needed to go read a book for 30 minutes, yelling "I'm Leaving" when things didn't go his way and walking out, and threatening suicide
* Bored out of his mind! He feels the need to play video games or watch TV if he can't be physically playing with one of his friends in the neighborhood. (Which leads to HUGE blow-ups and fights if his Dad or I tell him "no" to these activities.)
* Constant disappointment in life -- if things aren't ran according to his agenda/schedule or things are going his way, he gets sad, mad, or depressed over it. (Things as small as getting home later than we expected from running errands...which throws "his" schedule off for playing with friends or video games!)
* Persistent in getting what he wants, no matter the consequences or cost! If he wants to go on a BlueBerry picking walk, then he will literally BEG for it until it happens...even if it is 2 days later!! (Same thing happens with other things that he wants...buying video games or other items, playing with friends, riding his scooter, etc...) He doesn't seem to know when to quit asking, and ends up making us upset with his constant nagging. Then, of coarse, he gets into trouble or snapped at from our shot nerves...but he doesn't seem to have any care about the consequences.
*Sleeping -- or should I say the LACK of sleep -- issues. He can't sleep! He goes to bed at 8:30pm and is still up and at it when his Dad goes to bed after 11:00pm! Bug gets up and tells us that he has been awake until 2:00-4:00am on many occasions! Bug has vivid dreams about people or pets dying or other disturbing things, which keep him anxious about going to sleep, as well.
Once the appointment was coming to the end, the Dr told Randy and I what he was thinking...which simply made our jaws drop at the thought. The Dr said he thought that Bug may have Early-Onset BiPolar Disorder!
Initially, R and I were hesitant to think that our little boy had such a big psychological issue like BiPolar Disorder. We are still in a bit of shock over it. But, after a few days of our own research via the internet and the public library, we are slowly coming around to the fact that this illness fits so many of the puzzle pieces together for us!
I am currently reading "The Bipolar Child: The Definitive and Reassuring Guide to Childhood's Most Misunderstood Disorder -- Third Edition" by Demitri Md Papolos & Janice Papolos.
I have a hard time laying this book down! It describes so many things in our life right now and gives me some comfort in knowing that Randy and I aren't alone in this and that we aren't terrible parents that "made" Bug this way. (Yes, even as intelligent, logical, reasonable adults, you question your ability as a parent when something like this happens.)
As of right now, we have Bug taking Risperdal, which is an anti-psychotic medication to help with anger and aggression, but also has a "drowsiness" side effect to help with the sleep issues. He is still taking his Vyvanse for the ADHD, but is no longer taking any anti-depressants. We haven't seen any BIG changes yet, but we are confidant that if we stick it out, we will figure this out and life will get better!
Well, I better get moving...these girls are ready to start our daily routine! :)

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

4th of July Birthday Celebration!

My Mom & Dad came down on Thursday for a visit! It was a good time and I think that everyone enjoyed themselves, for the most part. We celebrated Cricket's birthday on the 4th of July with a cookout/party and then fireworks afterwards! I can't believe that she is 3 already! Where does the time go?? (I assure you that America was not the only one celebrating its INDEPENDENCE on this day!)The kids swam, tumbled in the yard, played on the swing set, and seemed to have a good time!
After the presents and cake, it was time for the FIREWORKS!! Randy & our neighbor, Craig, were in charge of the fireworks. They did a very nice job, I think! (Thanks guys! ~ And a special thanks goes out to our neighbors for taking control of the cooking and serving of food while I had my hands full with other things!!)

So, that was what we did on our 4th of July! I foresee a lot of Birthday/4th of July celebrations in the future!!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

A Bit of Perspective

Can I just say that I LOVE the "Jon & Kate Plus 8" show on DHC! I am officially addicted to it! LOL One of the things that I love the most is how amazingly calm and "together" Kate and Jon seem to be, no matter how crazy the situation is! I could only DREAM of keeping my cool like that -- and I only have 3 kids!! This show does, however, help me to keep the perspective on my own situation. While they seem to excel at having 8 children (6 of which are 3 years old), I thank my lucky stars that I don't have that many kids! LOL Kate is a great model of what a "real" Mom is (not some perfect, Brady Bunch Mom).
Anyhow, I just wanted to throw it out there that this is a great show, especially for us overwhelmed parents! It is nice to just sit down and get a good laugh over everyday life situations! (It helps me to laugh at my own situations even!) Again, I am completely in awe of this family and how functional they seem to be! (I wonder if they feel that they are doing as well as they make it look??)